I like movies and puppies and one time I ate five slurpees in one day. I can hold my breath underwater for a really long time and I can do a really good impression of Lindsey Lohan in the Parent Trap. I don't like driving in the dark and I can't remember the last time I wore my retainers.
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My roommate bought a pack of 24 rolls of toilet paper yesterday, in addition to the half dozen we already had, and stored all of them in the bathroom. And just let me tell you, there’s something incredibly calming and reassuring about looking next to you while you’re on the toilet and seeing 30 rolls of toilet paper sitting there. You get a feeling like, no matter how bad shit gets in there, you’re always going to make it out okay in the end.
My dream is to be with somebody for so long that even though we are miserable and hate each other we are going to spend the rest of our lives together because no one else would ever want to be with either of us